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Thursday 13 September 2018

writing a good intro

WHO: Room 7
WHAT: played the maths game
WHEN: Thursday 14th September
WHERE: in the hall
WHY: to practice our maths skills
HOW: we walked there, in teams of 6.

Bad Intro:  Room 7 played the maths game. It was Thursday 14th September 2018. We were in the hall. We did it to practice our maths skills. We walked there and we were in teams.
*notice how the information are all in separate sentences* - don’t do that, it’s boring to read.

On Thursday morning (the 14th September 2018), Room 7 walked out the to the hall to play the maths game. Room 7 plays this game so we can practice our maths skills and have a bit of a running around break.
*Put the information into sentences TOGETHER. Much better to read*

WHO: Me and my family
WHAT: went to the beach
WHEN: Saturday 8th September
WHERE: Mission bay
WHY: to have fun and enjoy the sunshine
HOW: drove in the car
Intro:on a lovely boiling hot day on the 8th of september on saturday me and my family drove in the car too the beach in mission bay to have some fun and enjoy the sunshine.


WHO: me and my best friend
WHAT: went to the movies and had lunch
WHEN: on Sunday 9th September
WHERE: Sylvia Park
WHY: for my birthday
HOW: mum dropped us off in the car
Intro: me and my best friend got dropped off in the car from my mum for my birthday we spent the day in sylvia park watching a movie having lunch.


WHO: Me and my family
WHAT: went to nana’s house
WHEN: after church on Sunday 9th September
WHERE: nana’s house in Panmure
WHY: to have lunch together, help plan for cousins 21st party
HOW: drove in the van
Intro: after church we drove in the car on sunday 9th september  with me and my family to go to nana house in panmure to have some lunch together and help plan for my cousins 21st party.

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