Sunday, 26 March 2017

Week 9 recount

This morning skateboarding was canceled  So room 7 and room 8 went to go out to the court for line basketball for class sport at 11.30.


Next we went outside on the court on the yellow line to boy girl miss ashley  and mrs morrison was the couch. Also we were in different sides to start with
So we got ready for the first round so mrs morrison calls the numbers and the kids had to ran and it was me so i ran around the pole to the ball and everybody was screaming and cheering like screaming babies.


After It was up for the 2 round and miss morrison yelled out the number but i was not in the 2 round so i was cheering for my class GO ROOM 7 !!! i was cheering so hard my throat got sore but i was cheering but not loud like a tiger also room 8 got a goal that good for them because they try.


Then now it was the last round mrs morrison called the numbers and it was me so i ran around the pole and i got the ball and i throw it and the we got a goal and room 7 was was happy and proud of himself.

In the game it was fun we felt proud to win also happy the best thing is humble wins gracious losers.



Marking my story!
Ideas
Structure and Language
Organisation
Vocabulary
Sentence Structure
Spelling
Punctuation
R2
R2
R2
R2
R2
R3
R2
Total score (add the numbers next to the R’s altogether)
15
My E-asttle score is … (click here and see what your score is)
1p

4 comments:

  1. Good story Hiria.
    Your goal for tomorrow is punctuation - you have missed lots of full stops and commas. Also you could have put speech marks in your story like this "GO ROOM 7!". Using more punctuation in the right places will give you more points in your marking.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi hiria nice work you just need to yous detail and to use some powerful words please next time re read your story before you blog this nice try hiria

    ReplyDelete
  3. exellent story Hiria but you need more full stops and use more punctuation in your story I like you marking your story

    KEEP IT UP.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hi Hiria,
    I really like your story but next time try and use full stops and when you are typing someone's name try to put capital in the beginning letter of there name, but really good job and also make sure you check it twice and see if there is any mistakes and also check for things that dont make sense.

    KEEP IT UP

    ReplyDelete